Sometimes, you get dealt a rough hand in life. You want to make it as a famous person, try your best to excel at your field, and then the paparazzi takes five looks at you and determines that your body is more interesting than your body of work. It’s truly deplorable what this world has become.
After years of study and hard work, spending hour upon hour honing your skills and perfecting your craft, the only thing people manage to write about you in reviews is nothing short of “dat ass”. And yet these people carry on, heads held high. These people walk the walk.
To protest this filthy, filthy habit of judging a book by its cover, let’s take a look at some iconic book covers. We’ll call it an ironic protest. Why not.
Kylie Jenner’s Lips
This TV personality/reality star (neither of which are actual jobs) claims to never have had injections to her lips. Khloe Kardashian claims she did. I claim to not care.
Cara Delevigne’s Eyebrows
Well, they’re certainly out there.
Julia Roberts’ Smile
One of the widest smiles in Hollywood, how could anyone forget about her?
Jared Leto’s Hair
What, men can’t be objectified? Says who? Trump-voters? This guy has had every goddamn haircut known and unknown to man.
Cindy Crawford’s Mole
I prefer the French term “tache de beauté” since “mole” sounds like there’s someone on her face feeding sensitive information to the Russians.
Kim Kardashian’s Butt
This other TV personality/reality star (still not an actual job) is known for having anything ranging from “a curvy backside” to “a lot of junk in her trunk”.
Miley Cyrus’ Abs
I can never have abs like this in my entire life. Daddy loves his beer too much. Gotta keep hydrated. It’s all that global warming. I want to change, honest.
Christina Hendricks’ Chest
I honestly can’t grasp the irony of being a great actress playing a feminist role in one of the best shows on TV and ending up in this article for what mother nature gave you. Sorry, Christina. You deserved better.